I believe

"How could any bug with such powerful convictions as I possibly be wrong?" the grasshopper asked, hopping into traffic.

Imagine Joe...

It’s midnight here in California and I can’t sleep. I’m having bad visions and scary dreams after the Vice Presidential debate. They say you can tell a man by the friends he keeps and the people he hires. I keep seeing Vice President Joe Biden’s super-white teeth, grinning in the darkness like some mad Cheshire cat. I know what’s bothering me; I’m worried this guy might stumble into the presidency and I don’t think he’s got a clue.

Let’s say President Obama ate one too many greasy hamburgers behind Michelle's back and snuck a few too many puffs on the hookah after a strenuous game of hoop ball with a few pros on their down time and the cumulative effect caused the boss man to keel over and speak in tongues or exist in such a vegetative state that even the New York Times would have to admit he was no longer the man for the job. Hey, it could happen; they still have one or two serious reporters at the Times.

Now imagine that after ascending to the throne, President Joe Biden has a meeting with Putin where they discuss Russia backing off from their involvement in Syria. Try to visualize the guy you saw smirking and mugging while his debate rival was talking national security, health care and the economy. Imagine that Joe trying to persuade Iran’s mad neo-Hitler to give up his plans to annihilate Israel. See his brow furrow as he tries to grasp the dangers of Muslim terrorism, struggles to convince the Chinese to play fair, looks for ways to confront the economic stagnation, reduce bloated budgets, cure the cancerous national debt, solve the Mexican Border dilemma, repair the failed strategy in Afghanistan, reverse the lunatic plunge away from our natural energy resources. Is that the man for you?

This isn't some made-up scenario; the difficulties that would face a President Joe Biden are the current President's problems, and, even with his legendary arrogance and powerful biblical oratory, he hasn't solved anything in four years. The realization comes over me like a flaccid stroke of lightning: Barack and Joe, when it comes to style, are as different as night and day. But when it comes to problem solving, they’re two ineffectual little peas in the same pod. I don’t know about you, but in these times I don’t need sleep to give me nightmares.